Hello there Blogging Friends,

This is my very first post. A highly intellectual friend of my husband's "birthed" this blog-site for me, and now it's mine to nurture and grow. I ask you to bear with me during these infant and toddler stages; being a first time blogger is quite intimidating! As a matter of fact, if you are reading this, both you and I can consider it a minor miracle.

I have been thinking for about a week now, "What would I like to say to you first? If I could only say one, quick, sweet thing to you, what would it be?" And then after this question, every time, my mind recites this verse:

The Lord is good, and His love endures forever. (II Chronicles 5:13)

So this is it--a simple, yet profound, penetrating truth. This one line was sung as a praise song by the Israelites when God inhabited Solomon's temple for the first time. They experienced the powerful presence of the Lord in an incredible way (His glory came down from heaven). They could not help but shout the beautiful truth from the depth of their soul:

The Lord is good, and His love endures forever. (II Chronicles 7:3)

I encourage you to make these ancient words your new song today. Sing it over and over until you believe it. Claim it, shout it, then live it. This wandering world needs you to be convinced of His enduring love.

So no matter the circumstances, remember:

The Lord is good;

And no matter how you feel, choose to believe:

His love endures forever.

(Psalm 136)

Written with this love,

Chris

p.s. I am writing you this note under the influence of a flu shot that has given me AWFUL flu-like symptoms--aching body and fever (how, pray tell, can you be both hot and cold at the same time?!). I feel as if a herd of pigs (swine) came barreling down a hill, and I just happened to be standing at the wrong place, at the wrong time! NEVERTHELESS, I am fighting my "fluvian enemy", and putting my very first post into the ground, staking my claim, that no matter the circumstances, or how I feel at the moment:

The Lord is good,

His love endures forever,

Chris

Wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectable behavior.
~1 Peter 3:1-2

Dear Molly,

The most repetitive instruction addressed to wives in Scripture is the awesome challenge of submissiveness. Why is submitting to our husband’s authority so important in the eyes of the Lord? I think God lovingly commands this humble position because He knows that having and maintaining a submissive spirit is the woman’s key to her husband’s heart.

The Biblical picture of the submissive role is portrayed when we, as a church, are called the bride of Christ. When we as believers completely trust our lives to Him, and lay down our control, Christ then is able to love and to lead. We cannot receive His love or His leadership without submitting to His Spirit. This picture is meant to speak into your marriage. As you submit to your husband’s authority, he is able to love you and to lead you more freely. Do not look at this position as an awful curse when God meant it to be a bountiful blessing in your life. Allow your husband to fulfill his role in your marriage; by submitting, let him love you as Christ loves the church.

I want to also encourage you to not base your calling of submissiveness on whether or not Ryan is fulfilling his calling of love and leadership. That’s called conditional love; your love for him is called to bear all things. I challenge you to continually obey and pray. Obey the Lord – continue to submit in spite of the lack of love or the lack of leadership on your husband’s part. Do not take the reins in your marriage; it will only contribute to passivity. But also, you must PRAY! Pray continually to the Lord to convict and teach your husband to do his part. Remember, as you submit, you are giving your husband honor and respect – two qualities which compel your husband’s heart to love and to cherish you. You, then, will become his prized possession that he desires to protect and to honor. You will find he wants to honor your requests, your ideas, and your wisdom. Thus, husband and wife are honoring each other, and your marriage becomes a beautiful picture, all for His glory.

Love, Chris

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her …
~Ephesians 5:22-25

… Put on the new self … Christ is all, and in all … put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other … and beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
~Colossians 3:10-14

Dear Molly,

As you grow in your understanding of Christ’s love for you, His words and His ways will become evident in you. This is God’s plan for your marriage – stay rooted and grounded in the love of Christ, so you may be able to give His love to Ryan. Remember, God’s love is the “perfect bond of unity.” Daily seek Him, so you can daily love your husband.

I want to recommend a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which has been a wonderful asset to me in understanding how I can best “daily love” Mac. The book describes the five languages in detail: physical touch, acts of service, gift-giving, words of affirmation, and quality time. Showing all these languages is essential in your marriage, but realize some are more prominent in speaking love to Ryan. Knowing his love languages will help you direct your energy and focus. For example, in our marriage, Mac appreciates a home-cooked meal (drats), which is acts of service. But of course, I appreciate a date with him alone, which is quality time. So, we have learned to give to each other – I work in the kitchen; he takes me out (bless him). Also, words of affirmation are important to both of us. I have realized I need to be intentional on building him up as a husband, as a daddy, and as a doctor. And he has realized well-thought through, uplifting words are like a bouquet of flowers for me. Find out each others’ love languages and speak them intentionally.

Realize this too, Molly: sometimes loving is easy and sometimes it’s not. That’s why Scripture says to "put on love". We, because of sin, are not able to love others more than we love ourselves. But if we take off the old self, and put on the new, which is Christ in us, we can love in this self-sacrificing way!

To illustrate, sometimes making a home-cooked meal after a long stressful day is the absolute last thing I want to do! But for the sake of the unity of the family, I need to provide dinners at home for Mac and the children a reasonable amount of nights each week. Thankfully, Mac is not overly picky concerning the food set before him (bless him again)!

I encourage you, Molly, to call on Christ in time of need, and His strength will help you love Ryan in spite of your temporary emotions, your occasional fatigue, or your possible stressful circumstances. “Christ is all, and in all” … and through His strength, you can “put on love.”

Love, Chris

But put on the Lord Jesus Christ.
~Romans 13:14

You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. It will no longer be said to you, “Forsaken,” nor to your land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”; But you will be called “My delight is in her,” and your land “Married”; For the Lord delights in you …
~Isaiah 62:3-4

The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had, and bought it.
~Matthew 13:45-46

Dear Molly,

This is my sixteenth letter written to you, but it will come first, before all the others. I just got back from your wedding, and I learned yet another lesson in marriage. I have been taught this before, but now I want to treasure this truth: marriage is a high gift from heaven. Husband and wife have the awesome privilege of portraying the beautiful picture of God’s love for his people.

Ryan’s love for you is intense and intentional; similarly, Christ, the Groom, pursues His cherished bride in this way. You are Ryan’s one pearl of great value; likewise, Christ purchased His pearl, His people, with His life. Christ’s love was so great that He died for His bride. I imagine Ryan’s heart was pounding with great expectation as you walked down the aisle towards him; I know God’s heart rejoices with singing when His people answer His beckoning plea of “Come.”

Your love for Ryan radiated through your beauty. Your smile and your eyes said, “I have found the one my soul loves.” We, the bride, are complete when we find our Husband, Jesus Christ. Your celebration of love at the wedding was worshipful – the bridesmaids, family, and friends. Know this also: the angels in heaven burst forth in song when one sinner, in faith, says “I do.” The preparation for your wedding was thought through explicitly and uniquely – the flowers (wow!), your exquisite dress and veil, the beautiful music. Again, we the bride, are looking forward to the day when we will stand before our Husband in unblemished white forevermore.

Thank you, Molly, for this refresher lesson concerning the intense love between the bride and groom. My heart was touched with the love you and Ryan share. I pray you will hold high this honorable gift of marriage for years to come.

Love, Chris

And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband.
~Revelation 21:2

The Lord appeared to him from afar, saying “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”
~Jeremiah 31:3

And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God will rejoice over you.
~Isaiah 62:5

Dear Molly,

I, like you, had the privilege of marrying the love of my life.

I am so thankful to be married to my “knight-in-shining armor.” In the very early stages of “wedded bliss,” I learned my first lesson concerning marriage. After only a few months, I became very aware of the fact that my “knight” was human. He got tired; he made mistakes; sometimes, he failed me completely. I became confused and disappointed because I thought he was to be the one to “fill my cup.” I expected him to meet my every need. Where had the in-love feeling of the anticipating engagement gone? The “happily ever after” had been invaded too quickly by the reality of life. Mac’s love letters were replaced with the hard, exhausting work of a medical resident. I was in a new city, away from all family. As a newlywed, life with my love was hard; and I was lonely.

I, like you, have the privilege of knowing the Love of my soul.

But God, in his compassion, used this time to draw me closer to Him and His perfect love. Learning of His deep love for my soul has been the basis of everything else God has taught me concerning life and marriage. In His Word, and over time and maturity, He has clearly shown His unfailing love – for me! I both know and believe … He calls me by name … He draws me with loving-kindness … He rejoices over me with singing … He always sees me as a bride … He fills my cup, my every need. God’s love for me does not fail. He has become my constant, my rock, my portion. Knowing Jesus’ love for my soul allows me to let go of the unattainable expectations I humanly tend to place on my husband. When these expectations have been lifted off Mac’s shoulders, I then can enjoy him; and he enjoys me.

Molly, I encourage you to seek and continually find the “great mystery” of life, Jesus Christ. His love for you is incredible, intentional, and infallible. Ryan’s love for you is a sweet reflection of this love; but the love of Christ is the real thing! Let the Lord Jesus be your satisfier, your security, and your stability so your husband can be your companion, your soul-mate, and your treasure. I pray Christ’s unfailing love will be the perfect bond of unity that ties your marriage together. Because then, you will live joyfully ever after, no matter the circumstances.

Love, Chris

“And I will betroth you to Me forever; yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, in loving-kindness and in compassion, and I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord.”
~Hosea 2:19-20

But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.
~James 1:19

Dear Molly,

I realized very early in my marriage (around the second day) that Mac and I were two entirely different human beings with two entirely different thinking patterns! In my naivety, I thought because we were now “one” there would never be any conflict of interests or ideas. (I am laughing right now – I know you know how different Mac and I are!) What I have learned over these years, however, is to both marvel and respect the way God has uniquely designed my husband; and believe me, he is quite unique (even though he is an identical twin)! I encourage you to also appreciate the way God has created Ryan’s heart and mind. Realize conflicts will come, because you are different. Two ways I have learned not to handle these situations are:

Don’t be a pouter. This is the approach my personality is most likely to take. I don’t have to say anything; my lower lip says it all! Sometimes Mac has no idea I am even “punishing” him with this cold silent treatment, which of course makes me even angrier. Trust me, pouting does not resolve anything. Your husband cannot read your mind, so speak it with gentleness and respect.

Don’t be a shouter. Instead of the cold shoulder route, the “red-hot” approach can spew damaging and unnecessary fire into a relationship. Know that harsh words cannot be retrieved from the recipient’s heart. Believe “a gentle answer turns away wrath.” Proverbs 15:1

So we can’t pout and we can’t shout; what then is a woman to do?! My (still being learned) advice is threefold:

1. Pray. Before you speak to Ryan, speak to the Lord. Tell Him everything you feel about the particular situation between you and your husband. Pour out your heart before the Lord. He is full of understanding and mercy.

2. Gain perspective. Through prayer, God will help you to see the conflict through His eyes. Be willing to hear what He has to say through His word and His Spirit. Give the Living Water the opportunity to quench your fire. And then, be willing to …

3. Seek peace. Always know the Lord Jesus will call you to put aside malice and put on love. He is the author of peace, so through Him, you can resolve any conflict. Trust Him to help you keep peace in your marriage relationship.

Remember, Molly, Ryan is on your side. You are one, created for the purpose of walking together through life peacefully. Do not let the Enemy break your strides. Because marriage is God’s design, the Deceiver’s task is to destroy it. I encourage you to fight the Enemy, not your husband.

Love, Chris

Seek peace, and pursue it.
~Psalm 34:14