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Respite For the Weary
Whew, adult-parenting is tough.
Whew, nobody forewarned me about "adult children." The term alone is an oxymoron. Our kids are "all gown up," out there in the world, but our hearts are as bound to them as when we were holding them in our arms as infants.
So, how do we love them well at this juncture in their lives?
Having been in this stage now for over a decade, with two children in the 20's and two in their 30's, plus gaining 3 more children with their respective spouses, I have had plenty of opportunity to experience trial and error in parenting on this journey. Along with their triumphs and blessings each child has also gone through heartache, hardship, and loss in some way. (One year in particular was even labeled "the year of tears" by two of my children. A tough year for sure.) Watching them go through these things is hard on a momma's heart.
When looking at this journey in an overarching way, I have 3 insights that God continues to remind me when navigating my adult children's highs and lows:
1. Be patient. I must remember that God is not done. He is always working. When I think of my own life-experience as a 20-30 year-old, I marvel at both my immaturity and insecurity. But this is where God met me. He was gracious and compassionate in my toddler-like-walk with him. He used my circumstances (dashed dreams as an athlete, loneliness as a resident's wife, sadness of 2 miscarriages, drama in my family of origin) to cause me to run to him. He wooed me to his love. He used ALL of these things to mature me, showing me that he is my ALL in ALL. I must remember and take hope that he will do the same for each one of my children.
2. Be prudent. Set healthy boundaries...no helicoptering. I've learned that when they are ready, they'll talk. I need to be a safe place for them to share their heart, listening first, all the while praying for the Lord to speak his wisdom through me. I must resist the strong temptation to fix it for them, whatever "it" is. The best thing I can ever do for them is to point them to Jesus. His word is life-giving in every way.
3. Be prayerful. Prayer is never wasted time, whereas worry is only that. So I must remember to keep prayer as a daily priority; my words to God about my children are loving my children in supernatural ways. This morning I was convicted to get on my knees for one of my adult children in particular. God can do things that I certainly cannot! Ask without doubting and wait expectantly for his answers. Don't forget to thank him when and how he chooses to answer. Share with your children all that you see that God is doing in their lives. It will strengthen their faith.
Be patient.
Be prudent.
Be prayerful.
Your adult children are a beautiful work in progress, as are we.
As some of you know, I frequent Panama City Beach with my husband Mac as he does orthopedic ER work at a hospital in the city. Poor me, right? While he fixes ankles, hips, and knees, I get to sit and look at the beach (from my condo; no thanks for the sand), and write things like... this post.
I also take beach walks to clear my head, and then to fill it up again with the next "wise thought" so I can impart it to whomever chooses to listen.*
And then, sometimes on these walks, I stop and talk to other beach sitters or walkers. Being an introvert, this will always be a harder thing for me than pushing my pen across a page, or clicking keys on the computer. I really do like people. Actually, I love people! Especially one at a time.
Yesterday I was walking and thinking, and thinking and walking, and I was very content with just me, myself, and I... then God entered in. I recognized the feeling; today was a day to share ...Him...with someone.
"Oh boy! With who?," I nervously asked God. I wasn't sure what lucky man or woman was going to get to hear me say a "Word" but somehow, whenever the Lord nudges me to speak up, he then faithfully directs my steps to the right person.
So, I started walking and praying, and praying and walking...
Not too long after that, I saw a man with one of those treasure-hunter-contraptions; he was waving it back and forth across the white sand.
"Is this the one, God?"
"Yes, go."
So I leisurely strolled up to this older fellow. He was wearing a thick sweatshirt, worn out jeans, and baseball cap as it was a Florida-type-of-cold-day. The treasure-hunting-device was beeping decisively. I said, "Find something?"
"Yep, it's in here somewhere," he said. After about 30 seconds of shuffling the sand, a rusty old bottle cap was uncovered. He put it in his pocket explaining to me that even things like this, considering their age, might be worth something.
"Oh really, how interesting to know," I replied.
"Where are you from?" I asked.
"Michigan," he responded. (He looked like he was from Michigan. Not sure what Michigan-people really look like, but if I had to guess, it would be like the weathered snowbird who was standing in front of me.)
"Ah, here for warmth! I get it! Nothing like sunshine in the midst of winter!" I said. Then I asked, "Do you do this much?," sincerely wanting to know more about his treasure hunts.
"Yep," he said, "This is my third day here, and I've already found 37 cents, 2 rings, and a cross."
"Oh wow!" I said. "That's awesome. A cross! I love that." I then said to myself, "OK, a cross...he found a cross...there's your segue."
So, I took a breath, said a prayer, and asked, "Do you know what the cross means?"
A little bewildered at the question, because, as you know, that's not an everyday "how's the weather type question," he quizzically said, "No, tell me."
And for the next minute, we had a conversation. I can't recall exactly all I said, but it was from the heart. I know I told him that God loved him, and I also know that the age-old-timeless-Truth found in John 3:16 was spoken: For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
He said, "Yes, I believe that! I am a Christian. I am a Catholic Christian."
I smiled and simply said, "Yay! That's great to know!" We spoke for a moment longer, and nodded at each other with a quiet agreement and a good-bye. As I walked away, with hopeful confidence that he knew Jesus as his Savior, I said, "God's Spirit lives in you." And that was that.
I kept walking on, and praying much, asking the Lord to use my meager jumbled words to do his mighty life-giving work. I prayed that when this friendly older Michigan man got back to his sunny beachside condo, he would relook at the rusty bottle cap, the 37cents, the 2 rings, but most of all the cross--and then take hold of the age-old timeless Truth of this treasure that he uncovered in the sand.
*Check out other beachside writing, and subscribe to the Daily Prayers on www.RespitefortheWeary.com
I chose a word for 2022...better yet, a word actually chose me. After seeing it, hearing it, and randomly thinking on it at different times prior to the New Year, "faith" was no doubt the word for me.
Hmmm....my first thought was, "Well, now that's a big, broad word to grasp?"
And then these questions:
"What does God want me to learn about faith?"
"How does one really 'walk by faith, not by sight' (2 Corinthians 5:7)."
With listening to the bible chronologically so far this year, and then combining it with my word for 2022, I've discovered some things about faith from the biblical characters I've encountered thus far:
Faith is...knowing that you are created and that you have a purpose on this earth (Adam and Eve).
Faith is...offering a gift to God with reverence (Abel) rather than with "rote-ness" (Cain).
Faith is...walking with God, day in, day out (Enoch).
Faith is...obeying God even when it seems crazy (Noah).
Faith is...believing God even in the depths of despair (Job).
Oh wow, I'm only 2 weeks into listening to the bible, and I've been given so much to think about already! What are the next 351 days going to bring?
What is faith?
Faith is the certainty of things hoped for, a proof of things not seen. For by it the people of old gained approval. Hebrews 11:1-2
I believe God was personally and powerfully present in the lives of these "people of old." I believe he molded Adam and Eve, he smiled on Abel, he disciplined Cain, he walked with Enoch, he directed Noah, and he had compassion on Job. Likewise, he is present in my faith-walk and yours.
I want to mimic all the faith-qualities of these biblical heroes. With God's spirit in me, grooming me and growing me, I can.
Let's choose to walk with God this year. We may not be able to see him, but through the pages of his living book, we can certainly know him.
On January 1st, I started listening to Genesis chapter 1 with the goal being to follow along the storyline of the whole bible throughout 2022. In doing so, I'm also trying to have a "take-away" each day.
When I got to the encounter between the serpent and Eve (with Adam too) in Genesis 3, I asked this question to myself:
"Who are you going to listen to?"
Just like Adam and Eve, we have one of two options.
One, we can listen to our Maker, who is the God that created everything good and perfect and beautiful. He is in all and through all. He is the author of light and life and love. He is all wise and knows the inner workings of each one of us. He is holy. He is glorious. And amazingly, he offers his glory to us!
Or two, we can listen to the enemy of our Maker. In Genesis 3, he is the serpent in the garden who is more crafty than any other beast of the field. Elsewhere in the bible he is referred to as the deceiver, the accuser, and the father of lies. He lied to Adam and Eve back then and he lies to us every day. He twists God's truth. He tempts us with lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (1 John 2:16).
Sadly, Adam and Eve pushed away God's clear direction and gave into the serpent's deceiving words, and therefore, we have this ongoing wrestle today.
But the good news is this, our Savior Jesus has come! We have his living word and we have his abiding Spirit!
With the Helper, we can wisely discern and powerfully overcome the tactics of our enemy.
In 2022, how about we choose to be in the word of God?
His word will guide and direct us. His word will help decipher truth from lies. His word is our greatest weapon as we walk in this fallen world.
Who am I going to listen to this year? Who are you going to listen to?
Each one of us has one of two options.
Maker of heaven and earth, God of glory, Holy One, Author of Love, Giver of Life, help us to listen to YOU!
Help push back the darkness...
Over this final week of 2021, a thought has come to my mind more than once. I've asked myself, (or maybe the Lord has asked me):
"Chris, what are you going to do to help push back the darkness in 2022?"
This is a good question for all who claim Christ as Lord and Savior; for he has called each of us to be his Light bearers.
Here is one place that I am excited to share the Good News:
A wonderful ministry called Girls Living for God wants to use a bible study I wrote called Picture Scripture. This seven-week study uncovers seven biblical images in order to teach and encourage its readers in God's word. In this case, the participants will be teenage girls. The word of God is the beacon of light in their culture's darkness and my prayer is that these young ladies would learn it, trust it, and cling to it not only in their younger years, but all their lives.
Will you join me in this endeavor?
If you would like to make a year end donation to help fund this project please do so at this link: http://GL4G.com/partner
Once on the donation site, check these boxes: "Dedicate this gift" and then "Picture Scripture"
Thank you in advance and with sincere gratefulness.
Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power. Psalm 145:4
Today, in this festive time of the year, the cornucopia is often the choice item that makes its way onto the center of our kitchen or dining room tables. This decorative piece symbolizes both "abundance" as well as a "bountiful harvest", which then leads to much gratitude as we count our many blessings.
With this visual in mind, I couldn't help but compare it to an on-line devotional series that I am currently reading, (see www.soulsistersministry.com). Over the past month, many women have willingly shared why they have been "Thankful in All Circumstances" this year. To say this series has been powerful is an understatement. Just like the differing harvest fruits and vegetables that are attractively placed in a cornucopia, these unique posts have become a beautiful collection of living testimonies bound together in the love of Christ.
Here are some of the fruits on display:
Acknowledging that age brings wisdom
Recognizing the little things, the daily things
Believing that God keeps his promises
Experiencing the love of Jesus in extreme sadness
Receiving forgiveness in a relationship
Recognizing we are made in God's image
Choosing to embrace all of life's moments
Choosing life and birthing redemption
Rejoicing in a God-given relationship
Giving thanks for answered prayers, both small and big
Choosing a thankful heart no matter the trial
Celebrating healing of body and soul
Choosing to grow in difficult times
Resting in God's plan, past, present, and future.
These Soul Sisters of mine have made my intangible Thanksgiving centerpiece become very real and alive in my heart. What a bountiful display of blessing upon blessing! (And the series is not over yet!) If I were to add to this cornucopia of thankful hearts, I would have to say my fruit would be entitled:
Embracing life-change.
What about you? What are you thankful for this year? What has God done for you in even a difficult circumstance? Take a moment before the Lord and ask him to reveal one thing to you and then thank him for it. Allow this blessing to be the seed of gratitude that has the potential to bear much fruit; may each one of us be full to overflowing with an array of colorful praise.
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving... For the Lord is a great God... Psalm 95:2-3
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I'll be the first to let you know that the subject of "false teaching" scares me to the point of silence.
However, in my on-line Bible study, we just "happen to be" going through 2 Peter, and I just "happen to" get assigned a passage to unpack and write for my Soul Sisters. Guess what ALL of chapter 2 is about? Yep, false teachers. Yikes.
So, I'm jumping the fear hurdle yet one more time, and sharing God's word concerning this topic. False teaching is in our midst, so let's gain wisdom together:
This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the sinful nature and despise authority. Bold and arrogant, these men are not afraid to slander celestial beings; yet even angels, although they are stronger and more powerful, do not bring slanderous accusations against such beings in the presence of the Lord. But these men blaspheme in matters they do not understand. They are like brute beasts, creatures of instinct, born only to be caught and destroyed, and like beasts they too will perish. They will be paid back with harm for the harm they have done. Their idea of pleasure is to carouse in broad daylight. They are blots and blemishes, reveling in their pleasures while they feast with you. With eyes full of adultery, they never stop sinning; they seduce the unstable; they are experts in greed—an accursed brood!
2 Peter 2:10-14
I bet you would all agree with me that these above verses will never show up on the inside of an encouraging Hallmark card. Wow, Peter holds nothing back, right? But let's remember, this is God's word through Peter; we are hearing from the Lord's heart concerning his true feelings about false teachers.
Why is judgment on these deceivers so severe? Because God loves his children. Think about it on a human level. If someone with questionable intentions were trying to lure your toddler away from you, wouldn't you stop at nothing to prevent this from happening? Likewise with our Father. His righteous anger is fueled by his protective love.
These verses give us some discerning "tips" on detecting a false prophet:
These descriptions seem so obvious that one would think that false teachers would be easily spotted, but yet these men in Peter's day were gaining followers from within the church! Sadly, this happens all too often today too. In his book Be Alert, Warren Wiersbe says it well: "Outwardly they appeared to serve God and minister to the people, while inwardly they fed their own egos and feathered their own nests."
So, how can we prevent being lured away from our faith in Christ?
Know theTruth.
The only description in the verses above that is given to potentially-lured-people is that they are "unstable." The more you know the truth of God's word, the less unstable you become, and the easier it will be to pick up on some of these false teachers' sometimes subtle character flaws.
As I looked at the list above one more time, I was struck at how opposite these things are from the attributes of Jesus. Christian leaders (and all of us) are called to be like Christ! These false teachers, who claimed Christ but twisted his truth, were nothing like him at all.
As Jesus walked the earth:
he submitted to the authority of his Father,
he was humble and gentle,
he was full of wisdom,
he listened to and followed the Spirit,
he was sinless even when tempted,
he brought truth into the church,
he emptied himself, serving others,
and he lured the lost with his truth and love.
This is the Leader I want to follow, don't you?
Dear Lord,
Thank you for your protective love. Give us a desire to know the truth so that we will not be deceived by anyone who does not stand fully for you. We ask for your Spirit of wisdom and discernment as we open your word. Then help us to walk forward, unswayed by anything false. Amen.
You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. 1 John 3:5
Dear Lord Jesus,
You came to earth for a purpose--to take away our sins. Please help us to lay aside anything that is damaging to us. No matter how much we long for fleshly things, we ask for your love to be stronger. Be victorious in our hearts and minds! Help us to open our hands so that you can take all our sins away. Amen.