Be an Encourager

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
~Proverbs 31:10

A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.
~Proverbs 15:4

Dear Molly,

Years ago, when I was standing with Mac at our wedding ceremony, my pastor was directing words towards me concerning my role as a wife. He encouraged me to take the position as “cheerleader” for my husband. He said I would become the “heartbeat of the home,” both as a wife and then as a mother. Now, fifteen years and four children later, I have to say he was right. My disposition does affect the entire household. In this regard, I must choose daily, through Christ, to put my temporal, ever-swaying moods aside (God help me!) and “cheer” for my husband and family. The “heartbeat” of my words should be uplifting and directed, not deflating and misguided. My job, and yours, is to be our husband’s encourager each and every day in the home, so he may be adequately equipped when he walks out of the home.

My first piece of advice in this area of encouragement is to listen. There will be many days Ryan will come home exhausted and possibly defeated from a hard day’s work. Give him a “safe place” to escape the worries and stresses of this world. Hear him; pray for him. “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11

Secondly, speak. Use choice words. Always be ready to build into his character. Be consciously aware that the words you choose to say have a direct impact on the man Ryan will become. Your words can bring courage or cowardice into his heart. Be on his team; be his cheerleader. “A man (your husband) has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word!” Proverbs 15:23

A third “worldly” thought: be careful to never shame your husband. Remember, God brought you to Ryan in order to help him, not hurt him – hold his hand; lift him up. Ryan does have weaknesses and he will make mistakes simply because he’s human. But your responsibility is to bring his character, strengths and weaknesses, before the Lord. God always desires to use weakness as an opportunity to display His strength. Allow Him to work; do not crush his spirit while God is trying to mold it. God’s purpose is to make your man a mighty warrior for His glory. Partner with the One who can do all things!

Love, Chris

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.
~Proverbs 12:4

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
~Proverbs 31:23