The other morning I woke up extra early. Within minutes, I had numerous thoughts about the upcoming day racing through my mind. When this happens, it is more tiresome for me to lay in bed than to just get on up and sit, be still with the Lord, holding a warm cup of coffee in my hands. So, I rolled out of bed…In the summer, my "quiet place" is a specific spot on the screened-in-porch. On this particular morning, it was still dark outside…very very quiet. Ahhhh.Even though it was dark, I knew the landscaping that existed just beyond the porch: the crepe myrtles with pink blooms, the green grass, the rounded bushes, etc. Although, I couldn't see these things, I was certain they were there; darkness did not mean the existence of nothing. This got me to thinking about the biblical concept of faith. And then these questions came to my mind:What if I believe God's word with the same certainty as I believe in the unseen landscaping that exists before the morning light? What if I know that I know that I know that every word of God is true and good and just? Would I live differently? I want to.If His word says, Do not fear, I am with you, do I believe this truth whole-heartedly? And if Scripture says, Be kind to one another, am I living this command convictingly? And if His word promises, I will come again, and receive you to Myself, am I holding this gift expectantly? (Is. 41:10; Eph. 4:32; John 14:3)Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1The thing is, God's word is more real than the crepe myrtles that stood in the dark just outside of my screen porch. His word is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to jusdge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Hebrews 4:12Hold God's word, my friend, as your ultimate reality. Take all His truths, His commands, and His promises and live by them. See the unseen. And then, as the Lord sheds His light on His truths in your heart, watch expectantly for beautiful things to take place all around you. His word will pierce your darkness.

Let us press on to know the Lord, His going forth is as certain as the dawn. Hosea 6:3

Emmy and Sarah, saying helloAlmost a year ago our family welcomed a sweet young French girl into our home as an exchange student. Sarah jumped right into our daily life: regular routines, highschool days, team sports, holidays, church going, birthdays, family trips, special events, and so on. And in the meantime, she learned the southern English languge (words like y'all and fixin'), within a southern American culture (swing dancing and Sonic blasts), within a southern Christian family ("Jesus loves you this I know, for the Bible tells you so"…). In no time at all, Sarah became one of us. She stole our hearts.

And then yesterday, she boarded a plane and left. Ouch. This is the third exchange student we have had in our home, and the heartache of saying goodbye doesn't get any easier. There is a deep deep sadness of knowing that "this is it...done." Yes, there will be visits, but the day-in-and-day-out living together has come to an unwelcomed halt. Yesterday she was here; today she is not.

Emmy, Sarah, and Maggie: sistersThis got me to thinking about different kinds of goodbyes and how they are a part of all of us, like it or not. In the last several months alone, I have been a close observer/companion to several different kinds of heart wrenching goodbyes: a commited mother saying goodbye to a rebellious son who chose to walk out of their home, a godly daddy saying goodbye to his beautiful princess on her wedding day, a loving wife saying a final goodbye to her endearing soulmate of 28 years. Because I know these people, I also know that the depth of their heartache matches the height of their love that was poured out in the years proir. And I must trust, for their sake, and for mine, that God sees and understands the deep pain of loving someone well. And then, at this place, the Comforter enters in. "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give unto you." John 14:27

Sarah means: "Princess"
As Emmy and I were driving away from the airport, together, but without our Sarah, we were silent except for our sniffling tears; we just let them flow.Then, when we could speak, we both agreed without hesitation, the pain of goodbye is most certainly worth the journey of hello and everything that follows. Yes, for the third time now, our family has been richly blessed by another unique and beautiful life in our home.

Emmy and Sarah, saying goodbye So reader, I encourage you, just as I encouraged Emmy during the car ride home, "Say a welcoming hello, love well, embrace with both arms, don't put up any walls, jump in with both feet... it's all worth... the pain of goodbye."

Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure--pressed down, shaken together, and running over--will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measure back to you. Luke 6:38

A prayer from my book, The Heartbeat of God:

I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. John 15:1

O God, You are the Vinedresser. First of all, I want to thank You that I am even considered a branch on the vine. For I know that I was once considered a wild olive, and was grafted in among the original branches and that I became a partaker with them of the rich root of the olive tree. Again, I humbly thank You for this act of grace on my behalf. Now, dear Jesus, I hear You say to me, “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, My Father takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit.” O God, I want to be a fruitful bearer of Your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; but, I must confess, sometimes Your pruning hurts. I know Your intentions are for my good and for Your glory, and in the long run, I will most certainly bear more fruit under Your knowledgeable care; but right now, Your pruning hand has afflicted me. You have taken away things that I thought I needed. I do realize, because of these losses, I have had to become more dependent upon You. Indeed, You now have become my all in all. And through this enduring process, I am learning to say from a sincere heart of faith, “I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing You as my Lord.” Therefore, let me hear again, Your beautiful words of assurance as I continually submit to Your shaping, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.” Yes, wise Vinedresser, please continue Your good work in me.

John 15:5; Rom. 11:17; John 15:1; Gal. 5:22-23; Phil. 3:8; John 15:16

A prayer from my book, The Heartbeat of God:

So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me…?” John 21:15

O God, You are the God of True Love. And now, You ask each of one of us to be an outpouring of this same love. You explain with clear conviction in Your word: If you speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, you have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if you have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if you have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, you are nothing. And if you give all your possessions to feed the poor, and if you deliver your body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits you nothing. Dear God, these words are strong words, words that make me think about the motive of my heart and actions. Please Lord, help me to understand what true love is so that I don’t fall into “vigorous nothingness”. Your Word defines love by saying, “In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” Ah, so I see and understand that love begins with You. Indeed, we love, because You first loved us. I must receive Your true love inside of me before I can give it away; because if I don’t have You, I truly have nothing. But with You, I can bear Your fruit. Again, Your word attests to this: We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. So Lord, please hear my request for my own heart as well as others far and wide, “I pray that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith; and that we, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ who surpasses knowledge, that we may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” And then, as a result of this true love welling up inside of me, cause me to tend Your lambs…and shepherd Your sheep.

I Cor. 13:1-3; I John 4:5; I John 4:19; I John 3:16; Eph. 3:17-19; see John 21:15-16

Do not quench the Spirit. I Thess. 5:19Because I believe in Jesus, I know His Spirit lives in me. Over the years of my faith walk, I have grown as a result of: digging into God's word, trusting it to be true, and then following through with obedience. Sometimes this is as easy as 1-2-3, and sometimes it just plain isn't. My flesh is still very much alive and, quite frankly, it can work in complete contradiction to the Spirit.To explain, I will share an experience from the other day. Only to make a contrasting point, I will share two Spirit-led "good deeds"from that day. One, I met with a dear lady for brunch; she just needed a listening ear, some biblical encouragement, and a friend who cared. So, I willingly sat with her. This encounter was certainly Spirit led. And then a little later, I went to get my suburban's emission's test done. For years now, I have intentionally paid the required fee for the the car behind me without them knowing it. (There was a time in my life that I was not able to do this financially, but now that I can, I do.) Again, Spirit led.Now, for the flesh. In between these two acts of kindness, I had a trip to the post office on my to-do-list. For some reason, I have a strong aversion concerning the post office. When I go, there's ALWAYS a long line. And then, there's that AKWARD silence inside. And sometimes, postal people aren't very nice when you finally reach them. Anyway, I was sitting in my suburban about to get out, when I saw a young mom who had a baby in a stroller, a toddler, as well as her package; because her hands were full, she was trying to open the post office door with her leg. While observing this scene, I spoke out loud to myself, "Oh great, you mean I'm gonna have to stand next to THAT?!" Whoa! And wow! Really? Yep, that's Chris without Christ. Flesh at its finest. The crazy thing is that I used to be THAT--I had four kids in under six years and I home schooled; so for about a decade, I was like a walking amoeba, with all kinds of arms, legs, heads, and noises coming from my moving conglomeration. Why in the world would I so begrudgingly target this innocent mom trying to enter the post office? Flesh. The saving thing is, the Spirit keeps me in check. When I heard my own words, I was quiet surprised at my rottenness; I confessed to Lord, and then got out with great intention to go help that dear momma. (Turns out, I forgot to bring the address to my own package, so I never even made it inside. Ugh, the post office!!!)So that's just one day in my Spirit vs. flesh existence. I could share more of my fits of Christ-less-ness, but I might lose some readers. Instead, I will finish this post how I started: the more I'm in the word, trusting its validity, and obeying it submissively, the more I grow in my faith. I will never be an angel on earth, but my hopeful prayer is that the Spirit will win out more and more and more, not only for my own sake but for others around me, INCLUDING YOUNG BEUATIFUL AWESOME MOTHERS WHO HAVE THEIR HANDS FULL, even at the post office.But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please…But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Gal. 5:16-17, 22-25

I was having a converstaion with a young friend of mine who has been struggling emotionally, physically, and spiritually the last couple of years. He's an awesome kid, but he has just kinda gotten stuck with some "smelly stuff" that he, on his own, hasn't been able to shake from his heart and mind.

I shared a recent analogy with him that the Lord so sweetly shared with me:

We have a driveway that runs through the middle of our two fenced fields. One of the fields has cows grazing on it, the other does not. Interestingly, the field that the cows are calling home, now has a blanket of beautiful gold flowers on it, while the other field has only tall grass (eventual hay).

Now if I were a cowgirl, I could tell you in detail about this golden process: the kind of cows that are grazing, the kind of flowers that are blooming, etc; however, I'm a half-country, half-city girl, so I resorted to google. After much research, I found DairyCarrie: "Manure is smelly and kind of gross but it is also fertilizer that's full of nutrients that our soil needs. Gardeners like to fertilize their flowers and vegetables to make their plants grow larger and stronger and farmers do the same thing except our garden is a few hundred acres and we don't have to run to the garden center for bags of fertilizer. We have our own fertilizer producing machines, lounging around…" (dairycarrie.com 5/7/13). Ahh, so there you have it, the cows' manure helps produce radiant fields of gold.

Using this image, I urged my young struggling friend to allow God to work His wonders in the midst of his mess. If He can spin manure into "gold"for the cows, just think of what He can do with the stinky stuff in the lives of the children He loves so dearly. The question I had for him, and for myself, and now for you, is, "Will you let Him do His wonderful work?" Just know this, God is ready, willing, and able; and He will do it in His time and His way. The difference between the process of nature and dealing with humans is that God allows nature to take its course; but with us, He waits on our hearts to soften towards Him before He begins His work. The Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. (Is 30:18)He will never force His way on you, because that's not true love. He is however, always pursuing, and patiently waiting to bring beauty from ashes. (Is 61:3)

So the choice is there for each of us: let Him "fertilize our soul" with His truth and love, and then reap His radiant glory, or well, just continue on alone in our mess, which only exudes the stench of anger and bitterness. I urge you, let the Gardner in...

And instead of the thronbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. Is. 55:13
And instead of manure, the gold flowers will bloom… Yes, as a friend of mine reminded me this morning, God let's nothing go to waste.

Our neighbor's field…He had more cow manure, thus more gold.