I don’t know about you, but January is a l…o…n…g month for me. The holiday festivities are over, the decorations come down (eventually), and it seems I am faced with not just one month in front of me, but twelve. At times I feel like I have just finished one marathon with a glorious bang, only to immediately start another one.
To be completely honest, I am FEELING discouraged, weak, and doubtful. I am discouraged because of the unending dailyness of life: the food in the fridge vanishes upon entry, and the laundry reproduces spontaneously. I am weak because I have a head cold…ugh…I will spare you of the details on this one. And I am doubtful because I see all those little squares on my calendar filling up with scribbled ink, wondering how in the world one person is going to be able to do everything it “says.” (I have already mistakenly missed two orthodontist appointments and its just January 15th!).
To be completely honest again… I do not want to live underneath the FEELING of discouragement, weakness, and doubt. I actually refuse to.
Therefore, I will fight my feelings with faith:
When I am discouraged I will remember: My soul wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I will not be shaken (Psalm 62:5-6). And I will choose to believe this truth with all my heart.
When I am weak I will remember: The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped (Psalm 28:7). And again, I will hold onto this truth and not let it go.
When I am doubtful I will remember: Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10). Ah yes, without a shadow of a doubt, I will believe He is holding my hand.
Bottom line is, my circumstances are real, my feelings are real, BUT, so is my faith. Jesus asked over and over again to His disciples, “Where is your faith?”. I know He asks you and me the same question. We must believe our God is greater than any of our diverse or even drastic circumstances, and that He is acutely aware of our real and raw feelings. But He asks us to live by faith. In fact, He waits to perform His great works through the doors of our simple faith. (Scripture says, And He did not do many miracles there because of their unbelief. Matthew 13:58).
Over many years of trial and error, I have found out that when my faith in God wraps around my deepest feelings, these very feelings tend to, in His time, change: discouragement to encouragement, weakness to strength, doubtful to firmly planted.
Wow, to be completely honest one more time… I am feeling better already!!
Thanks, I needed y’all today. By writing this post, you have helped me remember what I believe with all my heart. Now I will go fold my laundry with steadfastness, blow my nose with joy, and call the orthodontist with hope of two new appointment days.
In turn, I will pray for you… that you too, will fight your feelings with faith.