All Writings

Wife – Mother – Other

For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
~Genesis 2:24

Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also … praises her.
~Proverbs 31:28

…and let her works praise her in the gates.
~Proverbs 31:31

Dear Molly,

I encourage you to always remember your God-given priorities as a married woman. You, from the day of your wedding ceremony, have the high privilege to be called “wife.” This is your first title, and always your first responsibility, before any other relationship. In God’s eyes, this position is a high place of honor. The marriage relationship is meant to be a beautiful representation of God’s commitment of everlasting love to His people. He desires your marriage to Ryan to display this kind of sweet love. Realize your devotion to Ryan will ultimately bring glory to the Lord. So keep Ryan top priority – love him well, with the love of Christ.

Secondly, Lord willing, you will be given the title “mother.” With this role you will experience a broad spectrum of emotions – from inexplicable delight to absolute exasperation, from endless energy to sheer exhaustion, from sweet moments of bliss to enduring trials of teething and tantrums. Mothering will take all of your day and some (years) of your nights. How then do we keep “wife” as number one priority? Realize that keeping your husband first is not defined by amount of time spent in each role; it’s a matter of the heart. Your heart needs to stay devoted to your husband as you love your children. He needs to know where he stands with you, and so do your children, for that matter. I have read, and do believe it is true, a child will find a strong sense of security in their parents’ love for each other. In this case, they are never forced to “pick sides.” Realize Ryan, who will have earned the title “daddy,” will be one of your greatest assets in your mothering. Parenting is a partnership. I encourage you to “lock arms” with him and walk this road together prayerfully. Children are gifts from God … enjoy your gifts, created by your love, together.

The third priority is using any other gifting God has uniquely blessed you with. Do not feel pressure to seek this “other” out, especially while the kids are young. God will let you know what and when and how to serve Him. Again, keep your heart deeply devoted to your husband and your children. Do not allow this “other” gifting to take your best emotional and physical energy from you. The world will tell you just the opposite; the “other” is more rewarding and satisfying. But listen to the Lord. He says an excellent wife is worth “far above jewels.” Stay on the route of richness found in Him – wife, mother, other.

Love, Chris

A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
~Proverbs 31:30