All Writings

The Gentle and Quiet Spirit

And let not your adornment be merely external … but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
~1 Peter 3:3-4

Dear Molly,

I truly believe one of the greatest assets in a marriage relationship is when the wife obtains the “imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit.” If it is “precious in the sight of God,” you know it will also be precious to your husband as well. Realize this sweet spirit abiding in you is the underlying character quality of submissiveness.

How can we, as wives, gain and keep this peaceful virtue? Notice 1 Peter 3 says the gentle and quiet spirit is born from the “hidden person of the heart.” There is only One, Jesus Christ, who can develop your innermost being. He is the gentle and quiet Spirit! I suggest you sit close by your Savior every morning. Let the Author of peace breathe into you through His Word. He will bring solitude to your heart that this world cannot imitate.

Realize, too, this quiet disposition does not imply weakness in your position or your personality. On the contrary, “His gentleness will make you great.” To illustrate, think of the beauty and purity of velvety rose petals. In order for these petals to even blossom, they must first be supported by a strong, life-sustaining stem. So underneath the tender “petals” lies the tenacious “stem” of strength and wisdom. Likewise, when you are rooted and grounded in the love of Christ, you will find nothing can shake your character or your calm reserve. At the same time, your sweet fragrance of gentleness is an attraction to all.

I encourage you, Molly, to “be still and know your God.” As you relate to Ryan, you will know when to speak and when to remain silent; when to confront and when to “let something go.” Listen to the Lord in the quietness of your heart. Allow Him to speak to you, and through you. Pray also that the Lord will speak to the heart of your husband. Realize, too, sometimes the less you say, the more God is able to speak. Your words may touch your husband’s ears, but God’s words will penetrate Ryan’s heart. Trust Him to speak, and let your gentle and quiet spirit win him without a word.

Love, Chris

Abide in Me, and I in you. As a branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
~John 15:5

The fruit of the Spirit is … gentleness. The fruit of the Spirit is … peace.
~Galatians 5:22-23

In quietness and trust is your strength.
~Isaiah 30:15